Parpardelle, Really Bravo?
March 13, 2008

I may have bowed out of recapping but I'm still watching. Have I not ears, Bravo? Have I not eyes? Have I not still a prodigious amount of judginess to weigh out? But far more to the point, Bravo: HAVE YOU STILL NOT ACQUIRED A FOOD LOVER'S COMPANION AFTER THREE MISSPELLED SEASONS?!

One of last night's misspellings did move me into a musical frame of mind. (It is also a frame of mind I last occupied in nursery school when this song was cool, so take that as you will.)

The parpar in the delle,
The parpar in the delle,
High ho Colicchio,
The parpar in the delle!

Get that out of your head, if you can!

Also, Bravo? There are two ways of spelling "(c)hallah" and "halla" isn't one of them. Clue up.

Whew! Glad I got that out. So, yes, I'm not recapping Top Chef for Television Without Pity, but some snark shall go on over here. It was sort of sad but intensely sweet to wake up to a chorus of emails demanding to know where I was, and the hilarious duo over at Amuse-Biatch set up a darling goodbye to me a few days ago, so it's very nice to know that I'll be missed.

Other reactions:

For once Bravo really tricked me. After all her hand shaking and complaints of nervousness, I really thought Stephanie was for the scrap pile, and certainly didn't expect her to win the Elimination Challenge. I'm sure her duck springrolls were tasty, but they had a certain stale look about their styling that recalled the 80s to mind. Instead, wetblankety Nimma was the one to go, and I can't say I was surprised or sad.

Ryan, for all his ballyhooed sexiness, does not impress me with his thick lips and doughy chin and jaw. No, my aesthetic runs more to Harold and CJ. And perhaps the respective modesty and humor in those two renders them all the more attractive to me, but I just don't think Ryan -- in looks or demonstrated skill -- is all that. His skill THAT HE'S HAD SINCE HE WAS ELEVEN YEARS OLD DID YOU KNOW HE'S BEEN COOKING SINCE HE WAS ELEVEN YEARS OLD BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN COOKING SINCE HE WAS ELEVEN YEARS OLD may yet improve, but I don't think his looks will.

Maybe Amuse-Biatch can oblige us with a side-by-side of Richard and Sandee Birdsong to prove their separation from birth as conjoined twins.

Mark is a hobbit.

Finally, Andrew needs to lay off the coke and caffeine. His twitchiness makes me nervous.

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