Trader Joe's Guacamole Kit: The Anti-Food Porn
May 1, 2007

I know, I know! I heard you all even before I started this post: what else did you expect from packaged foods? Well, given that I have had much delicious luck with the famous butternut squash, baby artichokes, Melissa's Beets, and shelled edamame, I actually had reason to believe this would work out just fine.

But it didn't. I blame the fact that I was caught in the grip of some pretty severe Traders withdrawal that caused me to seize and grab everything in sight gasping, "Oh, this is cool! We NEED this!"

Enter the convenient and specially packaged Trader Joe's guacamole kit, here for all your Cinqo de Mayo guacamole needs. Except not.

I know it's not the season, but it is possible to find ripe plum tomatoes. They may not be California-grown (such is the worthy power of the Eat Local movement that I have this auto-apology hardwired into me every time I talk, eat, or even think about about non-CA food), but they are ripe, ready, and tasty. They are not dry, tasting of cardboard, and experiencing a white-out as this one was.

There was nothing wrong with the limes or shallot, but the jalapeņo was wrinkled and tough, and the avocados, well, one of the avocados was doing things I've never seen an avocado do. Like grow mold. White, furry, slippery mold.

All in all, the final results weren't horrible to eat, but I was sort of scarred by the entire process, so when Cinqo de Mayo hits, I'll be hand-selecting all my ingredients.

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