Monty Python and The Holy Gruyère

April 8. 2004

I know this doesn't scan, but I HAVE TO GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!

I'm a mongerjack and I'm OK
I cheese all night and I cheese all day
          She's a monger and she's OK
          She cheeses all night and she cheeses all day

I cut up bries, I eat my work
I go to the lavat'ry
On Tuesdays I go shopping
And have cheddared macs for tea
          She cuts up bries...
          She's a mongerjack...

I cut up bries, I wrap and slice
I love to poke oozy chaour'ces
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in (wine)bars
          She cuts up bries...
          She's a mongerjack...

I cut up bries, I wield sharp knives
Suspendies and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa
          She cuts up bries...
          She's a mongerjack...

Okay, so it's not so scandalous given 1. I do wear women's clothing and a bra, and, 2. that I am a girlie. The suspendies...not so much.

Also? Somehow this song morphs into "Oh, Wouldn't it be Loverly," from My Fair Lady. Something along the lines of, "I'm a mongerjack and I'm OK...Far away from the cold night aiiiiir, oh, wouldn't it be loverrly. Loooverrly. Loverrly."