Top Chef
Small Bites
March 16, 2006

My first reaction to Bravo's new Top Chef

Shot in San Francisco and hosted by Tom Colicchio, owner of New York City's Gramercy Tavern, and Billy Joel's wife, Kathy Lee (who really needs to learn something from her husband about injecting some emotion into her lines), Top Chef is Bravo's attempt to keep their viewers tuned in and sated until the next season of Project Runway.

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My dreams of casting NBC's upcoming Celebrity Cooking Showdown:

Also, Bobby Flay would almost certainly cut himself, get electrocuted, or set his hair on fire, all which make for good TV. His trio of celebrities would look on nervously as he jigged triumphantly on his cutting board and wonder if this is a new Dancing with Celebrities they weren't aware of. Hell, while we're at it, let's throw Anthony Bourdain at the Hollywood crowd and make them think they ended up on Fear Factor...Rachel Ray would talk, cook, and drink so fast, her attending celebrities wouldn't know how to help or where to stand. They'd be even more mystified as to what the hell "E-V-O-O" and "spoonulas" were. On the other hand, her team would always beat the clock due to Rachel carrying back-spraining armloads of ingredients from place to place.

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How I really feel about the women of Star Trek: The Next Generation

I just want to say that Pulaski could kick the Dancing Doctor's namby-pamby ass sixty-seven ways to Saturday. Dr. Bev would be the hair-pulling, hand-biting, face-scratching type, but the prickly, flinty Pulaski would be all, "Bitch, please," and punch her square in the face.

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