Return of the Magi: The Star Wars Holiday Special
May 22, 2008
To herald the fourth installment of the Indiana Jones chronicles, most of basic cable has been airing all the Indiana Jones movies, along with a good smattering of other Harrison Ford films.

Today, Mathra started arguing with unseen programming monkeys about all the Ford movies they aren't showing.

Mathra: "What about The Fugitive? That's another Harrison Ford movie I haven't seen in a long time!"

Me: "Yeah, and -- "

Mathra: "Or Clear and Present Danger!"

Me: "Or The Hunt for Red October!"

Mathra (derisively): "He wasn't in that. But what about Patriot Games? Huh, TBS? No love for Jack Ryan?"

Me (scanning IMDB): "Or Sabrina? Or Working Girl?"

Mathra: "What about ALL the Star Wars movies?"

Me: "Yeah, Empire and Jedi and The Star Wars...Holiday Special?"

Mathra: "WHAT?!"

Oh, yes. It's really out there. In 1978, Ford, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, James Earl Jones -- ALL of them starred in a TV special called The Star Wars Holiday Special. And it didn't feature R2-D2 spending the night on a snowy rooftop waiting for Santa Claus after C-3PO told the little bot that Santa didn't exist.

Here's the unforgettable tagline: "Luke Skywalker and Han Solo battle evil Imperial forces to help Chewbacca reach his imperiled family on the Wookiee planet - in time for Life Day, their most important day of the year!"

Not interested yet? How about this summary written by Kynde:

"It is Lifeday, a holiday that is celebrated on Chewbacca's home planet Kashyyyk. Chewie and Han Solo are trying to get to the planet where Chewie's family is waiting for him, but the empire is out searching for the rebels, giving everyone a hard time. While we are waiting we get a look at the everyday life of a wookie family. We meet all the familiar characters from Star Wars and we are introduced to Bobba Fett during a small cartoon. We also pay a visit to the Cantina and meet all the monsters again."

The Empire giving everyone "a hard time"? Bobba Fett as a "small cartoon"? Bea Arthur as someone named Ackmena? Diahanne Carroll as a hologram called Wow? And Art Carney and Harvey Korman as well? Wait, are we sure this isn't just a Star Wars skit in The Carol Burnett Show?

I will not rest until I see this.

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