Caning in the Real Virginia
October 27, 2008
At first I laughed at this story. Then I yelled. Then I just collapsed under the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

So, one of Judy Feder's campaign workers got smacked by one of Rep. Frank R. Wolf's congressional staffers. With a cane.

That's the part that made me laugh. Not that I find violence funny -- far from it -- but the image of this Grampa Jones type striking out with his cane, like the kid is some street urchin hovering around 221 B Baker street and Grampa Jones in a carriage that would put Mr. Darcy's to shame is so ripe for late-night talk show jibes that if any of them fail to do something with it, well, then they just fail.

Next, there's the "I'm sorry if" non-apology that has become so popular with members of the GOP these days. Check it: "The campaign apologizes if Ben used poor judgment and hit him with his cane..." If? IF? There's no IF here, people.

Do you know what that kind of "apology" is really saying? It's saying, "I'm sorry if you're too dumb to understand all the nuances of the situation but if you really need us to apologize because you are making a mountain out of a molehill, then fine. We're sorry if you feel that way. But not really."

Finally, there's this little gem: "The two Feder staffers had been egging [Wolf] on with questions like, 'How does it feel to be in the real Virginia?' [Wolf campaign spokesman]Scandling said."

So, although a Republican started the whole "real Virginia" thing, when the Dems use it, it's "egging on." That's so...that's just -- like, I don't even know what to DO with that sort of logic. How do these people not fall down more?

Also -- and because if I write a whole separate post about this I might implode which wouldn't be healthy or clean, I'm tagging it on here -- I'm a Democrat and I've been pro-America every day of my damn life. Think about this, by disagreeing with certain policies, presidents, or Palins, I'm actually doing one of the most American things I can do. It's my right as woman, as a Democrat, as a tax payer, as voter, as an American.

Those who are seeking to be hateful and divisive with the above brand of claptrap are dividing America and destroying country bonds.

Now who's anti-American, jackass?

Meanwhile, I love this trend of cordoning off those who don't agree with us as somehow not real or fake or anti. I should try that in my daily life. If my parents disagree with me, I'll tell them they aren't my real parents or that they're anti-daughter. I'll tell my clients that if they don't like my suggestions, they aren't my real clients.

Sounds pretty idiotic, doesn't it?

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