No Tumor Jokes Here
July 28, 2008

I'm honestly not kicking a man when he's down, here, but when I read the news about Bob Novak's brain tumor, my first reaction was, "Hey, it's like that Grey's Anatomy episode! Remember the one? The one with the guy who married Clea Duvall, the waitress he knew only a week or something? And then, when the guy was camping with Clea and his brother, he reached out and touched a baby bear, resulting in the mama bear coming after them, scalping Clea, and gutting his brother?"

Now, I don't believe everything I see on television, but that whole brain tumor thing severely impairing judgement is supposedly a real thing. I know this because my friend who worked on the show said they researched all the weird medical stuff to find precedent.

(Warning: Literal blood and guts ahead.)

So, now what I'm wondering is, how long has Bob Novak had this brain tumor? It could definitely explain why he didn't realize there was a homeless guy bouncing up against his hood and windshield, but could it also explain Valerie Plame and everything in between?

Think about it.

Meanwhile, is July over yet? Because I think it sucked. All the forest fires in California, I lost my cellphone, there was a fire in our building when we were in Boston, I got a flat tire and subsequently had a meltdown after a terrible, no good, very bad week, my friend got her apartment broken into, and my other friend got her car broken into. And that's just the stuff I know.

Some good stuff has happened, too, like, seeing our dear friends in Boston, our friend Jeff checking out the mysterious BrainPort, learning that USAA is awesome for roadside assistance, and some other thing(s) I can't talk about yet, but on the whole, I think July is in our debt.

It looks like it's in Novak's debt as well.

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