The Nause-AA: The Elite Hate

September 13, 2012

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME HATE-BALL?! LET'S GET READY TO CHUNDER!

Since I came to no real consensus in Suffering Succotash about the most hated food -- though an awful lot of people talked about tomatoes -- we're going to make this determination ourselves with our highly scientific polling system.

Head on over to Tomato Nation to register your displeasure: remember vote with your gag reflex, vote for the most disgusting choice, vote to vomit!

Sarah D. Bunting

12 licorice/anise vs. 3 organ meats/offal
I love black licorice, the stronger and saltier and more it tastes like creosote, the better -- and I don't mind organ meats at all (it's what makes my mom's gravy so awesome), but I can't eat them, so for me, that's that. For you, it's a tougher call; offal strikes me as the more disgusting, but you guys hate licorice much more than we'd anticipated. ["LEAD POISONING." --Keckler] I'm going to bet the underdog, but won't be surprised if haggis works its old brown magic on the results.

9 creamed vegetables vs. 3 raw oysters
Well, shit. Two of my favorites. In fact, inspired by our unholy-combo discussions from the Sweet Sicksteen, I wouldn't mind a big bowl of creamed spinach topped with a few salty Cuttyhunks. A little fresh pepper, a little Old Bay, a little oh hey you just totally speeyarfed on my Chuck Taylors okay then.

This isn't that tough a call for me voting-wise -- you know that green-bean casserole you just flinched at like it burned you? I made that, and I'm actually hoping you avoid it so I can take it home and scarf it down in front of All On The Line -- but while I've got to wave bye-valve to our pearly friends, I think creamed veggies stay the course here.

Keckler

5 fake cherry flavoring vs. 3 okra
YOU GUYS OKRA IS SO GOOOOOD! Seriously, I just got back from Washington, D.C. where I cooked okra over a live flame at the 14th and U farmers' market and converted a crapload of citizens. (Probably shouldn't use the word "crapload" here, sorry.) I get the slime worry, I do. But I sliced those pods up the night before and let them hang out in the fridge and I think that actually helped de-slime them, truly.

I am just so sad you guys won't ever know what it is to love this vegetable that slices up into beautiful little green octagons. You can taste the mathematical perfection! But I know when I'm beat. Okra will slide through and I'll have to eat enough for the rest of us.

13 succotash vs. 15 Lima beans
I mean, it IS the name of my book, right? And I did say in that book that I would never not ever eat a speck of succotash, agreed? But still: Lima beans. They're IN succotash. They're part of the whole revolting development that succotash turned out to be. On the other hand, my mother hated Lima beans as a kid so we never had to eat them on their own, which makes me feel more kindly towards them compared to the slew of succotash I forced down my gullet.

However, this is an upset I never would have called, so what do I know? I think you guys will push succotash through since it includes things like carrots, peas, frenched green beans ["Hew!" -- SDB], and red peppers -- all which have the potential to be hated.