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The Nause-AA: The Final Foarrff
September 20, 2012

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME HATE-BALL?! LET'S GET READY TO CHUNDER!

Since I came to no real consensus in Suffering Succotash about the most hated food -- though an awful lot of people talked about tomatoes -- we're going to make this determination ourselves with our highly scientific polling system.

Head on over to Tomato Nation to register your displeasure: remember vote with your gag reflex, vote for the most disgusting choice, vote to vomit!

3 organ meats/offal vs. 3 raw oysters
Battle of the three seeds! This is my whole comment! I got nothin'! …No, really. It's apples and kidneys, kind of; offal is more of a psychological objection, I feel, and with raw oysters, it's 100 percent a texture problem. Each one is valid (although not shared by me), but you can't really compare them. I will predict that sliminess is worse, though. Oysters head into the final. -SDB

I'm not surprised either of these are here. Even non-picky eaters will likely have problems with one or both, and I'd love to dub this particular match-up the "Filtration Final." Organ meats are there to process the body's detritus and oysters are bottom-feeders. When you tip your head back for a briny slurp, you are actually sucking down the entire ocean's toilet. (Red Tide, anyone?) Of course, knowing the unsavory facts about these two competitors doesn't always knock people off their feed. I know hot dogs are chock-full of nips, lips, and bits, but it doesn't stop me from loving them. More people hate organ meats than raw oysters, so the bivalves probably will shuck off this round. -Keckler

5 fake cherry flavoring vs. 15 Lima beans
This is a weird matchup anyway, but when you add to that the fact that both contenders baaaaarely squeaked into the semis -- fake cherry only beat okra by eight votes, friends! -- I just don't even know. But it seems like more people hate Limas, and they hate them more passionately. Gang Green FTW. -SDB

I think this match-up is hilarious, mainly because, 1. fake cherry flavoring isn't a food, Bunting, so its very inclusion is somewhat, shall we say, SUSPECT; and 2. I never see Lima beans anywhere! Because of their marked lack of presence in my life I attribute their success in this bracket mainly to us all internalizing Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. I'll call it for fake cherry flavoring because this bracket was rigged! RIGGED! ["Girl, I assure you, if I had rigged it, raisins would not have suffered an ignominiously early trouncing." -- SDB] -Keckler




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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
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Stephanie Vander Weide Lucianovic