NCrackerAA: Round 1 Flight 5

October 29, 2013

1. Glutino cheddars win for the most off-putting name ever.

2. I have never heard of Sailor Boy Pilot Bread, but I suspect it might be the distant cousin of the hardtack sailors were forced to eat on long ocean voyages.

3. Ak-Maks are what AT-ATs crumble into their soup when they're home sick in bed.

4. Jingo's sound racist. I don't know why they sound racist, but I do know Paula Deen shouldn't buy them.

5. When I was a kid, my dad was obsessed with Stoned Wheat Thins. He'd come home from work and stand in the kitchen as my mom finished dinner and shovel them in. They were his amuse-bouche. For my part, I never understood their appeal and I still think they are the blandest, driest cracker ever to be partially perforated.

I'm calling this round for Carr's Water Crackers, which ably saw me through two nauseous pregnancies and scoop up both hot brie and pâté equally well, buttery Town House original, and Sociables.-- Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic

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…Oh my. I just absolutely have no idea what's going to become of Flight 5, because I just absolutely have no idea what I might vote for my own self. Water Crackers, a classic; Town House original, currently sitting on my pantry shelf; Cheez-Its white cheddar, brilliant; Ritz Bits, ditto (but they get your knuckles all gritty/slimy) (but I don't care); Stoned Wheat Thins, that never clash with any cheese, be it mild or Carpathian cat-pee-ish; Milton's, which I never heard of before our nomination round and OMG I want to eat to there.

My predictions: Ak Mak (the power of Glark compels you), albino Cheez-Its, and dark horse Bagel Thins, if only because I think SWTs have as many detractors as fans. -- Sarah D. Bunting

Now go on over to Tomato Nation and register your vote in the NCrackerAA.