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NCookieAA: Round 1, Flight 5
July 3, 2014

Chips Ahoy, original
Entenmann's butter with chocolate/sprinkles
Gingerbready airplane cookies
Nabisco Marshmallow Pinwheels
Girl Scout Tagalongs/PB Patties
Girl Scout Lemonades
Keebler's Fudge Stripe
PF Geneva
Lorna Doone
TJ's Triple Ginger Snaps
EL Fudge Sandwich
McVitties Digestives, milk
Cameo sandwich cremes
CVS Divine Raspberry Cream
Mystic Mints
PF Milanos, orange
Archway Molasses
PF Nantucket

This is a bad, sad bracket for me. Too many favorites to deal with. Might…go…crazy. Oh, wait, I already did go crazy a few rounds back when I confused Do-Si-Dos with Tagalongs! Minnesotan Girl Scouts in the 80s sold Do-Si-Dos as Savannahs, and I didn't love them then or now. The now-called Tagalongs are what we called Hoedowns (I was prepared to swear they were called "Hosannas" briefly but I really think I might be conflating Savannahs and Hoedowns because there's no way the GS ever went with such a religious name.) Anyway, Taga-downs/Hoe-longs are totally in it to win it, so they are a lock this time.

I adore McVitties Digestives in milk or plain and possibly even prefer them to HobNobs, which sounds like cookie heresy, but it's just that HobNobs are so thick and chunky and wheat-y that they are overly filling. I could eat half a sleeve of McVitties Digestives and not even cramp. Also, for any old movie fans out there: can you ever not call Digestives "Diggie biscuits" after watching Charles Boyer drive Ingrid Bergman to the brink of insanity in Gaslight? Me either.

Tip about the awesome original Chips Ahoy: if you eat them while drinking pumpkin ale, it totally brings out all the spices. It sounds crazy, but trust me, it's an incredible pairing.

Biscoff/Speculoos: lovelovelove, but please just always call them Biscoff because Speculoos is too close to speculum for cookie comfort.

EL Fudge Sandwich: I had such strong childhood memories about this cookie that my friend Jennifer Steinhauer wrote about them in her cookbook, Treat Yourself.

I love Pep Farm Geneva, Nantucket (though not as much as Sausalito and Chesapeake), Pinwheels, and Keebler's Fudge Stripes were worn as rings and busily eaten off fingers.

Crap. I do not know who is getting my votes. TOO FREAKING MANY GOOD THINGS! However, I do know that I will NOT be voting for orange Milanos because I am vehemently against fruit-flavored chocolate.

Predictions: Tagalongs, Chips Ahoy, Fudge Stripe, Pinwheels, and…EL Fudge? -- Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic

* * * * *

…Gah. GAH! I…gaaaaAAAHHHH! So many favorites!

I thought I'd have an easy time in the fifth flight. Grasshoppers? They're Thin Mint knockoffs! …Wait, Dirk and I killed a whole tray in like seven minutes over the weekend. PF's Geneva isn't that gr-- wait, those? So dense, with just the right amount of chocolate for the "I like chocolate but take it easy, bro" cookie fan like myself? This is just the cookies I didn't plan to vote for!

Because I goddamn love those Entenmann's holiday whatevers, the cakey butter cookie with the dark chocolate backing and the appropriately colored jimmy depending on the season (orange for Halloween, etc.). I love Tagalongs, even the inferior modern-day verzh with the greezier chocolate and the grainier peanut butter. I love the Lorna Doone; you can make a little sandwich with a slice of banana and some Cool Whip. (Go ahead, I'll wait. …AMIRITE?!) I love the Cameo, and the late great Mystic Mint is my very favorite Oreo -- not that anyone ever admitted that it's just an Oreo dunked in mint choc, but who cares, those things rocked. My grandmother's very white-gloviest friend used to cut them in quarters for afternoon tea.

And then, the Archway Molasses. It's basically a small cake, and they may not use real molasses anymore, but my pops is one of those blackstrapoholic weirdos who would put it on pancakes and in cocktails and whatnot, and the only time he ever lowered himself to the "hold child by forehead while it windmilled pathetically" maneuver was in the service of eating the last one of these.

I expect exactly none of these to medal except the Tagalong; they'll be followed by Pinwheels, OG Chips Ahoy, something PF, and Fudge Stripe. And if I had two ballots, I'd probably vote the same way. -- Sarah D. Bunting


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Stephanie Vander Weide Lucianovic